Tag Archives: Wife

Win a copy of The Hobbit – one of the greatest children’s books of all time

To coincidence with the re-release of one of children’s literature’s greatest books, I’ve got THREE copies of The Hobbit to give away. To win, leave a comment about your favourite childhood story/book you can remember reading with your parents.

To my shame, I have never actually read The Hobbit. It wasn’t on the curriculum at the state comprehensive I went to and I never sought it out.  It’s only now, as a father, that I wish I had.

However, I know a woman who has read it. And it changed her life.

She’s my wife, Rebecca, mother of my stepdaughter Daisy, ten (that’s her, above, getting stuck in), and our two sons, Tom and Sam, aged seven and four.

I asked her about the impact The Hobbit made on her when she was a little girl. Here’s what she wrote…

‘I am in my bedroom, lying on my bed listening to the clatter of my mum in the kitchen downstairs, and there is a door in front of me, a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle.

And all I want to do is push it open and see what lies beyond.

So I do.

And I am propelled into a world so vast, so thrilling and rich in colour and scope, yet precise to the very last detail, it pops my eyeballs and sucks the breath right out of my lungs.

It is now more than 30 years since I first read The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien but the moment I opened Bilbo Baggins’s front door again, I was full of the same eye-popping wonder.

It is, in many ways, such a simple story about a company of friends who go on an adventure.

But it changed my life.

Aged ten, I was shy and awkward. I didn’t really fit in anywhere. I wasn’t cool, I didn’t have posters of popstars on my wall and I lived largely in my own inner world and, well, that was the kind of behaviour that saw you getting picked last for everything at school – except a savaging by the popular kids.

It was The Hobbit that saved me.

The story, the characters, the strange and fantastical lands were my escape. I loved Tolkien’s language – otherworldly, yet oddly also down-to-earth, and really funny. I loved the creatures – the elves, the dwarves, goblins and trolls. I loved the names – Thorin Oakenshield, Smaug and Gollum.

I was blown away by the enormity of the creation. There were maps and back-stories and even a dwarvish language. It was, and still is, almost impossible to believe that all of this came from the imagination of one man.

I knew straightaway, of course, that I was Bilbo, the timid and distinctly ordinary hobbit who, without wanting to, finds himself embarking upon a perilous journey.

Along the way he makes friends, battles enemies, steals a very important ring, bags the treasure and, most importantly, discovers he is not so timid and ordinary after all.

For that last bit alone, I owe this book a lot.

In fact, it’s hard to overestimate the impact The Hobbit made on my life. It made me believe that inside the timid and awkward me was someone who could strive and be successful. It started my love affair with reading and the written word that still endures. It made me realise that there is simply no limit to the sweeping breadth and depth of the imagination, and it made me determined to be a writer when I grew up.

If we accept, and I do, that no reading you do in your lifetime is as important as the reading you do as a child, then it is true to say this book made me who I am.’

If you’d like the chance to win a copy of The Hobbit, please leave a comment below about your favourite childhood story/book that you can remember reading with your parents.

 

• This is a sponsored post.

9 Comments

Filed under Reviews, Comps & Sponsored Posts, Wife's Archive

Recipe Shed: My wife’s Superduper Megaloaded Surbocharged Pizza

There are several culinary things my wife does better than me, and here in reverse order are those things:

5. Poach an egg (I can’t stand them)

4. Cook fish (I’m allergic)

3. Throw together an Eton Mess

2. Make cupcakes

1. Make pizza. The finest Goddam pizza you’ll find either east, west, north or south of Naples.

So here it is, my lovely woman’s Superloaded Surbocharged Homeade Pizza.

FOR THE DOUGH (you’ll need a breadmaker)

5 fl oz water
3 tsp olive oil
8 oz strong white bread flour
1/2 tsp yeast
1/2 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp salt

Mix and prove the dough for 1hr 30 mins. Knock it back and roll it out.

FOR THE TOPPING

3 garlic cloves, chopped and sprinkled over the base
Tomato and oregano paste, thinly spread on base
Handful grated cheddar cheese
1/2 onion, thinly sliced
A few slices of salami
A few slices of chorizo
A few slices Parma ham
1 red pepper, roasted, peeled and sliced
1 red chilli, de-seeded and chopped
1 ball mozzarella, sliced
8 brown mushrooms, sliced
2-3 vine tomatoes, sliced

Layer the toppings on the pizza base and cook at 180C/Gas 4 for 20 mins

Sprinkles with torn basil leaves and freshly ground black pepper.

 

 

 

 

 

2 Comments

Filed under Baking, Recipe Shed

Coward’s way: I pulled out of a job before I was even offered it

Regular readers will know that last week I went for an interview after being approached by a headhunter.  My dilemma was: Should I go for it or stick to housedadding?

In the end, I took the coward’s way out: I let my wife decide.

During the 90 minute interview, I got the vibe. This was going to work, I was convinced. I liked the person who would be my boss and the demands were within my skills set. It would be hard work, as all new jobs with a modicum of responsibility are, but even after almost two years away from the coal face I felt I was up to it.

Following the interview, the headhunter contacted me.

‘Very positive feedback,’ he said. ‘I will be amazed if you don’t get called back for a second interview.’

I would have been amazed, too.

But something was stopping me going for it with all the gung-ho drive I’ve employed in the past when going for other positions.

It wasn’t my son, with the duck egg-sized lumped he’d suffered in the playground while I was being grilled. Yes, I would have felt guilty about not being ‘there’ for him – and the other two – should something like that happen again. But, hey, it’s character-building. He’d get over it, which he did in about half a day.

No, it was my wife’s reaction.

She didn’t get excited about an extra income coming in to supplement the salary she earns in a very stressful job that she works at 10 hours a day.

As is her style, she kept her counsel, supported me, told me we would make it work should I be offered the job.

But then in a moment of clarity over a bottle of wine, I asked: “You don’t want me to take this job, do you?”

“If I’m being honest, no,” she replied.

“But why? Think of the money.”

“It’s not about money,” she said. “I look at our children and see how happy and adjusted they are; at how well they’re doing at school. They’re thriving and they’re so secure. That’s because you’re here.”

She elaborated: “Of course I want you to get a job that you really want, but I wouldn’t be their mother if I didn’t worry about what would happen to them. All the disruption, being brought up by strangers, because let’s face it, you’d be doing 10 hour days like I am. They’d never see either of us. And even when they did, we’d both be so stressed out and exhausted that we wouldn’t have time for them. Plus we’d all have to eat ready meals because you’d have no time to cook!”

Rather than feeling crushed, that my ambitions were being snuffed out by domestic concerns, I felt proud. Proud of her, as a mum. Her kids came first. End of. With her stomach running a close second!

I looked at her.

‘Do you know what I’d like to happen?’ I asked. ‘I’d like to be offered this job then for you to forbid me from taking it, then for us to have a massive blazing row, and for you to win, and then I could blame you when I turned it down.’

She smiled back.

‘So why don’t we skip the row bit and you can blame me anyway?’

Which is what I did.

I called the headhunter the next day.

‘I’m really sorry to mess you around, but my wife’s put her foot down. I’m afraid I have to withdraw from the race,’ I explained.

He was not best pleased, but that was fair enough: he’d just lost a potential commission, but he said, as a dad himself, that he understood.

That night – after an evening of school runs, teatime, homework, bathtime and ready-for-bed – when my wife walked through the door at 8pm – roughly the same time I would have been getting home from the new job, if I’d been offered it – I told her what I’d done.

She threw her arms around me.

‘I’m so relieved,’ she said.

‘Just remember,’ I said. ‘When I moan about hating my life, about the kids driving me up the wall and of being unemployable, it was your fault. I’m just saying.’

‘Deal,’ she replied.

I felt like a coward, but I got over it the moment I saw her enjoy the herb-crusted rack of lamb with crushed new potatoes and butternut squash puree I’d made her for dinner.

Something I wouldn’t have time to make if I had a job.

Yes, I’m lucky. I know.

 

 

18 Comments

Filed under Chronicles

My wife’s first day off work in months turned into two – laid to waste by the Winter Vomiting Bug

'Here you go, Mum, have some germs!'

Last Friday, my wife took a rare day off to spend the last day of half-term with her family. What a mistake!

She never takes time off, my missus. A obsesssive dedication to duty combined with a mountainous workload legislates against such luxuries. Aside from statutory holidays, I think the last time she took any time off was some time last summer.

Last Friday, though, I decided it would be good for her, good for her kids, good for her family. And most of all, good for me – because after nearly a week with my adorable children I was beginning to climb the walls.

And so, reluctantly, my wife took a break from the grind of the office and swapped it for the grind of home.

As I said, what a mistake.

It all started off well enough. She took our sons to a soft play centre (my stepdaughter was spending the week with her dad) and then for a hot chocolate and had a great time, all thoughts of work forgotten for the day.

In the evening, we put the kids to bed, had a bottle of wine and, er, and early night.

And then at 3 o’clock in the morning, a little person appeared at the side of our bed.

‘Can’t get in bed,’ he said.

‘Oh, Sam. Have you had a nightmare? Would you like to get in with us?’ my wife asked him.

‘No. I want my own bed. But can’t get in.’

‘Oh, you’ll be fine. Just go back to bed. See you in the morning. Night night.’

A few moments later, I heard soft sobbing coming from his room.  I leapt out of bed and ran downstairs, to see our four year-old standing at his bedside and staring at the sheets.

‘What’s the matter, son?’ I said, turning on the light.

And then I saw it: a massive puddle of dark brown vomit.

I’ll spare you the details, but Operation Clean-Up was an efficient success. For approximately 15 minutes. And then BLEURRGH! Up came another load from his tiny frame.

More cleaning up. Then another HUEY!

Eventually, the poor little sod was so wiped out from dry heaving that he fell into a deep sleep, wrapped in clean towels.

The next morning, you’d barely have known anything had happened. He was a little pale in the face and green around the gills, but other than that, right as rain, and so we continued to enjoy our family weekend.

On Sunday, my sister-in-law and her husband and kids came over to spend the day. We went for a lovely meal and then returned to our place to play some games.

And then, out of nowhere BLEUGGH!! All over the carpet.

But this time, it was the seven year-old who was spewing.

Our guests made a timely retreat, because soon after they’d gone, there went that familiar sound again: BLEUGGH.

Only this time it was in stereo – for not only was the oldest son having a reunion with his lunch, but so was his mother.

The Winter Vomiting Bug aka Norovirus had claimed another victim.

BLEUGGH! BLEUGGH! BLEUGGH!

It was like being in the middle of the Frog Chorus.

The comeuppance of all this is that my wife took her second day off work in many months – tucked up in bed with her oldest son, who had to take his first-ever day off sick from school.

So far, me and the stepdaughter haven’t succumbed. So far…!

I think I’ll keep a bowl by our sides just in case.

 

TheBoyandMe's 366 Linky

6 Comments

Filed under Chronicles