I love this Interrogation Meme from Middle-aged Matron, the
only nicest vicar’s wife I know. I had to dig my thinking cap out and put it on. And it fits.
Let the interrogation begin…
If you could have an audience with any British monarch which would it be?
William the Conqueror. So I could tell him to piss off back to France and leave our Harold alone.
What is the most frightening thing that has ever happened to you?
In the first Gulf War, myself and another journalist were driving through the Saudi desert following – coincidentally, given the news – the Syrian army as they stormed into Kuwait. We hit a sand bank at 70 mph. The car rolled over several times, leaving us both unconscious and me with a dislocated shoulder and my companion with a ruptured spleen. We were found by American MPs, who put us under ‘house arrest’ transported us to a MASH hospital in the middle of nowhere, then had us escorted onto a Hercules and flown back to Dhahran, where we were ordered not to leave our hotel. The next day, arm in a sling, I snuck out and joined a convoy of journalists driving to Kuwait City on the night of the liberation. Our driver decided it would be a good idea to overtake the convoy, even though the road was littered with potholes, mines and debris. Our jeep hit the remnants of a tank in the road. The barrel came straight through the car and emerged through the rear window, and missed me by inches. We sat in the dark for ages, quivering with fear as small arms fire went on all around us, before the convoy caught up with us and we were rescued. I was driven into Kuwait City by the legendary war reporter P.J. O’Rourke.
If you appeared on Desert Island Discs what would your luxury be?
Wagyu steak. The world’s greatest – and most expensive – cut of beef.
What kind of museum or gallery exhibition would you cross a city to see?
Around the World in Cheese: A celebration.
What would you choose as your last meal?
Wagyu striploin with thrice-cooked chips and Stilton mushrooms, or lemon, garlic and thyme roast chicken with crispy skin, roast potatoes and roast veg.
If you became leader of a political party what would your slogan be?
‘You think I’m a c***, don’t you?’
What piece of music makes your pulse race?
Ennio Morricone’s ‘Man with the harmonica’ from Once Upon a Time in the West. One of the best Western scenes ever made. Pule racing, hair standing up on back of next..the way it builds, the menace, the crescendo ending.
and this...Bella figlia dell’amore, the quartet from Rigoletto. The way it builds, the layering, the crescendo ending.
and this...Pink Floyd’s reunion performing Comfortably Numb at Live8. The way it builds, the layering, the crescendo ending. And Dave Gilmour’s sheer painful, grimacing joy as he feels every note of those minors he’s wringing out. Not to mention the emotion of those stubborn old genius men reunited at last, even if only for a one-off.
What human quality to do value most highly?
What is your greatest regret?
That I didn’t meet my wife sooner. But if I had, I wouldn’t have my stepdaughter and my sons wouldn’t be who they are, so it’s not really a regret.
Can you do a forward roll (if yes, photographic evidence is required)
No, but I can roll on a forward.
What would you like your epitaph to be?
‘I made my sons’
What ingredients do you rate in a blog?
Great writing, variety, surprises, authenticity and humour.
• I know I’m supposed to nominate a load of other bloggers to do this, but in the spirit of being a miserable lazy bastard, please feel free to join in if you’d like to.