Tag Archives: Funny

Getting run over by an ant! That would be crazy, wouldn’t it?

I took my five-year-old son and a couple of his pals bowling on Saturday. Ear-wigging their conversations in the back of the car was wonderful. The comic genius of the innocents.
They were playing a little game together, trying to outdo the other with weirder and weirder observations, ending with the phrase: ‘That would be crazy, wouldn’t it?’
‘What if you got run over by an ant? Would you get hurt. I guess not, because it’s so small. But still, that would be crazy, wouldn’t it?’
‘What if you had frozen eyeballs? That would be crazy, wouldn’t it?’
‘Imagine if you could pull your belly button out and it made your belly explodes and leaves came out of your nose? That would be crazy, wouldn’t it?’
‘We should swap brains for a day. That would be crazy wouldn’t it?’
‘What if we tied some feathers to the car and drove to the Moon? That would be crazy, wouldn’t it?’

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A letter from a runaway son to his anxious dad….

* Courtesy of my mate Mark…

A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad.’  With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and, with trembling hands, read the letter…

“Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Joshua

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on the kitchen table. Call me when it is safe for me to come home

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