Tag Archives: Competition

Win a copy of The Hobbit – one of the greatest children’s books of all time

To coincidence with the re-release of one of children’s literature’s greatest books, I’ve got THREE copies of The Hobbit to give away. To win, leave a comment about your favourite childhood story/book you can remember reading with your parents.

To my shame, I have never actually read The Hobbit. It wasn’t on the curriculum at the state comprehensive I went to and I never sought it out.  It’s only now, as a father, that I wish I had.

However, I know a woman who has read it. And it changed her life.

She’s my wife, Rebecca, mother of my stepdaughter Daisy, ten (that’s her, above, getting stuck in), and our two sons, Tom and Sam, aged seven and four.

I asked her about the impact The Hobbit made on her when she was a little girl. Here’s what she wrote…

‘I am in my bedroom, lying on my bed listening to the clatter of my mum in the kitchen downstairs, and there is a door in front of me, a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle.

And all I want to do is push it open and see what lies beyond.

So I do.

And I am propelled into a world so vast, so thrilling and rich in colour and scope, yet precise to the very last detail, it pops my eyeballs and sucks the breath right out of my lungs.

It is now more than 30 years since I first read The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien but the moment I opened Bilbo Baggins’s front door again, I was full of the same eye-popping wonder.

It is, in many ways, such a simple story about a company of friends who go on an adventure.

But it changed my life.

Aged ten, I was shy and awkward. I didn’t really fit in anywhere. I wasn’t cool, I didn’t have posters of popstars on my wall and I lived largely in my own inner world and, well, that was the kind of behaviour that saw you getting picked last for everything at school – except a savaging by the popular kids.

It was The Hobbit that saved me.

The story, the characters, the strange and fantastical lands were my escape. I loved Tolkien’s language – otherworldly, yet oddly also down-to-earth, and really funny. I loved the creatures – the elves, the dwarves, goblins and trolls. I loved the names – Thorin Oakenshield, Smaug and Gollum.

I was blown away by the enormity of the creation. There were maps and back-stories and even a dwarvish language. It was, and still is, almost impossible to believe that all of this came from the imagination of one man.

I knew straightaway, of course, that I was Bilbo, the timid and distinctly ordinary hobbit who, without wanting to, finds himself embarking upon a perilous journey.

Along the way he makes friends, battles enemies, steals a very important ring, bags the treasure and, most importantly, discovers he is not so timid and ordinary after all.

For that last bit alone, I owe this book a lot.

In fact, it’s hard to overestimate the impact The Hobbit made on my life. It made me believe that inside the timid and awkward me was someone who could strive and be successful. It started my love affair with reading and the written word that still endures. It made me realise that there is simply no limit to the sweeping breadth and depth of the imagination, and it made me determined to be a writer when I grew up.

If we accept, and I do, that no reading you do in your lifetime is as important as the reading you do as a child, then it is true to say this book made me who I am.’

If you’d like the chance to win a copy of The Hobbit, please leave a comment below about your favourite childhood story/book that you can remember reading with your parents.

 

• This is a sponsored post.

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Filed under Reviews, Comps & Sponsored Posts, Wife's Archive

Win! Five perfect Father’s Day gift books, plus 20 per cent discount for every reader on a personalised book that dads and kids can read together

 

I’m passionate about reading with and to my children and not for altruistic reasons! Once they’ve learned to read, the whole world opens up to them – such as reading the instructions on a make-it-yourself toy or how-to-play-a-computer-game. The more they can read, the less I have to help them. Cue pub time. 

But as many of us know, it is notoriously difficult to get boys, especially, to read. And even more difficult to get dads – especially those with proper, stressful, hard-day-at-the-office jobs – to find the time, let alone the inclination, to read with their children.

Well, I’ve got a solution – one that will flatter the dads, engage the kids, and become a family heirloom. A perfect present for Father’s Day, in fact.

Five of my readers can win a Love2Read personalised Father’s Day book, plus everyone gets a 20 per cent discount. 

I’ve written about Caroline Edwards’ Love2Read business before, when I trialled this gift for Mother’s Day. I’m still basking in the adulation received from my wife, stacking enough Pink Tickets to spend more time than is healthy in the pub.

Now the mums amongst you who read this blog can benefit too (and dads – just subtly show this post to your Other Half).

Dads will love being the star of the bedtime story, so Love2Read has come up with the perfect Father’s Day gift in the form of a unique, personalised book. Its range of books can be personalised by adding ten photos and text to the pages e.g. “My dad plays golf”, “My dad likes cars” or “My dad loves me”.

All you have to do is upload 10 suitable photographs of Dad or Grandpa into a virtual book at www.love2read.co.uk and add some simple text. Your book will be printed and sent to your home address within 10 days. Titles include: My daddy…, Our dad…and My grandad…

The books are themed around National Curriculum keywords and are designed to stimulate the child’s interest in books so that they really want to read. No software is needed, the website is easy to use and you can even save your book as you go along if you need to come back to it later.

I’ve teamed up with Love2Read to offer five of my readers the chance to win a fantastic bespoke Father’s Day book plus a 20 per cent discount on what I reckon is a perfect Father’s Day gift.

To be in with a chance of winning, all you have to do is add your funniest anecdote about your dad (or the father of your kids) in the comment box below.

If you don’t want to enter, you can still get a 20 per cent discount by typing in the promotional code CRHD2012 on the Love2Read website.

It’s valid until June 11, which is the last day for orders to ensure they arrive in time for Father’s Day.

For further information and to see the range of books on offer please visit their website at:  www.love2read.co.uk .You can also find  love2read on Twitter and Facebook

• Closing date for comment entries is this Friday, June 8, to give you time to create your personalised Father’s Day book in time to receive it for the Big Day.

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Filed under Chronicles, Reviews, Comps & Sponsored Posts

For your delectation…my very cheesy national anthems!

When a friend saw this competition written about in a newspaper, he thought of me. I’m a cheese fanatic, see; a Cheddar afficionado. Thus, this comp had my name all over it.

The challenge by the British Cheese Board is to write a Cheddar National Anthem, to the tune of God Save The Queen, Land Of Hope And Glory, or Jersusalem.

You then have to make and post a video. Well, I can’t be bothered with that bit, but I’ve had E-dam Gouda go at the lyrics.

Here are my efforts..

(To God Save The Queen)

God eats our nutty Keen’s
Just with a cracker, please
God loves our cheese

Cheddar is glorious
Quicke’s has much moreishness
Isle of Mull is top drawer-ishness
Go-od loves our cheese

(To tune of Land of Hope and Glory)

Cheddar’s tasty and more-ish
Perfect with a pickle or two
Creamy, nutty or tangy
There’s bound to be a Cheddar for you

Cheddar’s tasty and more-ish
Slab it on a cracker or bread
Chunky, grated or melted
Versatile, it has to be said

Cheddar’s tasty and more-ish
The king of cheeses, we know
Cheddar’s tasty and more-ish
Take a bite and feel your mouth glow

And this, from my friend Mark, to the tune of the National Anthem…

You should eat loads of cheese
Oh it can only please
Eat loads of cheese

Purchase it from the shop
Eat it until you drop
Or till your tummy pops

Eat loads of cheese

And from my friend Dan (to God Save The Queen)

Cheddar is lovely cheese
And my wife, she agrees
More cheese, yes please!

It’s so mysterious
It sends us delirious
We should be abstemious
But go weak at the knees

And this from my friend Scott (to God Save the Queen)
Cheddar’s the Queen of cheese
It is the beezy knees
More cheese? Yes please.
On crackers or hunk of bread
The aroma goes to my head
There’s nothing I’d eat instead
The Queen of cheese
Well, what do you think? Cheesy enough?

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5 Ideal Home Show tickets to be won: What would you like to change about your home?

Our home is far from ideal. Aside from the wet towels, the mountains of plastic junk that clutter our children’s rooms, the thick layer of dust that coats every surface and the permanent stains on the carpets, our home is rather small for the five of us.

Three bedrooms and a roof terrace is not a meagre size by any stretch of the imagination, but living and working here all day I sometimes feel like a Chilean miner.

Oh, how I would kill for more space. Oh, if only we could afford it.

‘Why don’t you just make the space we have nicer?’ my working wife asks on occasions.

And what she means by that is: why don’t you be a Real Man and get your drill out and fix all the stuff that needs fixing around here?

It sounds like more of a threat than a suggestion.

So aware that I am quite possibly living on borrowed time in this respect, I have done photographic survey of the Jobs That Need Doing. Here’s the evidence….and the excuses for doing nothing about them!

1. CRACKS IN THE WALLS
And not just one wall, either. They’re all over the place. Spreading like cobwebs across the kitchen and the bedrooms.
Excuse: Well, clearly, the walls are coming-a-tumbling down. This is not neglect, this is science; this is gravity at work. I saw it on a Prof Brian Cox documentary the other day. It may be the Weakest Force in the Universe, Dear Prof, but it’s also the strongest, otherwise we’d be zooming out into the dark depths of Outer Space. You can’t fight gravity. I rest my case.

2. ROTTING DOOR AND WINDOW FRAMES
The paint has flaked off to such an extent that water has seeped deep into the wood, making it nigh on impossible to open the door to our roof terrace with the aid of a crowbar (I know this for a fact because that’s what I used to prise it open to take this photograph).
Excuse: It would need sanding down, filling in, painted with primer, then painted again. I haven’t got time for all that – I’ve got three kids to slave over. Besides, it all that dust couldn’t possible be good for their fragile, still-forming lungs.

3. DEAD PLANTS ON THE TERRACE ‘GARDEN’
My wife longingly and lovingly grew, nurtured and tended to these last summer, producing quite a respectable harvest of lettuces, tomatoes, peppers, potatoes and a veritable pot pourri of herbs that I used in my cooking. Now they’re as dead as the wood on the door frames.
Excuse: Well, what do you expect me to do? I can’t get onto the bloody terrace because the door is jammed. Anyway, the local organic grocer sells some lovely herbs: it’s important to support your local shopkeeper.

4. BROKEN TOILET FLUSHER
God knows how this happened, but with five of us squeezing into a tiny bathroom, it had a certain inevitability about it. Must stop feeding the children their Five-a-Day.
Excuse: It will teach the kids how much they take for granted. When-I-Were-A-Lad we didn’t have an outside toilet. Until we moved to a brand spanking new council house during the slum clearances of Manchester, we had to go to a little shed at the bottom of the garden. A broken toilet flush? Pah! Character building.

5. DAISY-BUILT BIRD BOX NOT HUNG
My ten-year-old stepdaughter made this at a crafts event and when she brought it home as a present for her Mum she was cuffed to pieces. ‘We’ll get blue tits and great tits and finches and maybe even a parrot,’ she declared.
Excuse: Think again, eldest one. I’ve seen the magpies fixing their beady eyes on it through out bedroom window. And our bedroom is precisely where it’s staying.

6. INGRAINED CARPET STAINS
My God, these are stubborn buggers. I have tried to shift them. But all brands of carpet cleaner and even my best efforts with my beloved steam cleaner haven’t removed so much as a molecule of dirt. I have no idea what said dirt actually is, but it ain’t going nowhere. They’ll be around when the rest of the house falls to piece or the Earth stops spinning.
Excuse: If you squint your eyes and look hard enough, it’s like one of those 3-D pictures. Look! There’s a dolphin breaking the surface. Look again! It’s Saturn and its rings. And again! It’s the face of Christ.

What would you like to change about your home? Tell me in the Comments field below for a chance to win tickets to the fantastic Ideal Home Show, sponsored by Everest Home Improvement?

The show runs from March 16 until April 1 at London’s Earls Court and I’ve got five tickets to give away to one of my readers.

How to enter:

All you need to do is leave an answer to this question in a comment at the bottom of this post:

If you could change one thing about your home what would it be and why? Please leave an email or twitter address so I can contact you should you win.

Is it this?

Ideal Home Show sponsored by Everest

Or this?

Ideal Home Show sponsored by Everest

Or this?

Ideal Home Show sponsored by Everest

Or something else entirely?

The competition is open right now and will run until 1st March 2012 when it will close at midnight. The 5 winners will be announced shortly after that and tickets will be send out. You must be a resident of the UK and 18 years or older to enter.

So get commenting! I can’t wait to hear from you!

*This post is sponsored by Everest.

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Filed under Reviews, Comps & Sponsored Posts