For me, there is no better hangover breakfast than a meaty sausage and grilled cheese on toast smothered in Heinz Baked Beans. So as I staggered back from the school run the morning after celebrating my football team’s title win, I popped into the corner shop to hunt down said beans – only to find an imposter.
The brand name was the same, but the tin was different, darker. And instead of one bean immersed in sweet tomato sauce – the writing on the tin promised FIVE. Five beans for the price of one (well almost: it was 10p dearer than the ‘ordinary’ fare).
Of course, a change is as good as a rest, but would a quintuple of beans be an improvement? I had to find out – for that is the kind of adventurous guy I am.
The label detailed five beans: red kidney, pinto, haricot, borlotti and cannelini. All fine, all dandy beans.
And inside, the sauce was just as radioactive orange as the standard variety.
But the real proof is in the tasting, so here is the verdict….drum roll….heated in a saucepan for 5 mins and seasoned with a twist of pepper, they taste absolutely the same as the established pulses. There is a little more texture (from the skins of the kidney beans) but that’s it. Same taste, same gloopy sauce, slightly chewier, but 10p dearer.
Not better, not worse, not even different. Just beanz.