Alphabet Challenge: The A-Z of Me

I have been tagged in the latest meme going round, by the rather funny Jo of Frankie-Parker fame, the lovely SunnivaAnne who is TheKitchenMechanic. and the semi-beard wearing Ben from GoodbyePertBreasts. This is where I get to answer questions about myself in the form of A-Z questions, so here goes..

ANORAK…Do you have a sad side?
No. My tastes in music are so cool they could freeze steam. My car CD driving choices are Dire Straits, Linkin Park, ELO, Doves, AC/DC, Status Quo, Molly Hatchet and a compliation of Ennio Morricone’s work.

BODY…What physical attribute would you most like to change?
Until I hit 30 I was a rake: 28 inch waist, more meat on a butcher’s pencil. But good living has taken its toll, so now I’m a 6ft 1in goggle-eyed freak with a beer belly. It’s the latter I’d change. But I won’t. Because I’m lazy.

CELEBRITY…Which one would you most like to date and why?
Not interested in celebrities. I’d rather date a corpse. Celebs have nothing to say and nothing to offer to the world. So I’ll reverse the question: which celebrity would I like to burn with a flame-thrower. Easy: Bono. Tax-dodging, holier-than-thou pontificating, self-righteous twat.

DEBUT …Tell us about your first ever blog post. What made you start blogging?
Here’s a link to it. I started blogging when my wife and I swapped roles after I was made redundant and I became a housedad. Reluctantly.

ERROR …What’s been your biggest regret?
That I didn’t meet my wife 15 years before I did. We would done all the things we now fantasise about doing. Seeing the world together, romantic nights out etc. But then we wouldn’t have been blessed with the children we have, so it’s a semi-regret.

FUNNY…who’s making you laugh?
Kevin Bridges, a small, wry, dry Glaswegian comedian, whose Bus Stop routine I play time and time again to cheer me up.

GRAND…If we gave you one right now what would you spend it on?
Would happily hand it over to an odd job man to do all the niggly things I never get round to do, like fixing the bathroom door and sanding and painting the window frames.

HOLIDAY… What’s your favourite destination?
Corsica. For the memories of our honeymoon last year. It was utter bliss and we will never be able to afford anything like it again.

IRRITATE… What’s your most annoying habit?
I don’t have any. Ask the wife. Parp!

JOKER…Whats your favourite joke {the one that makes you laugh everytime you hear it}?
From Peter Kay: ‘I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said: “Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough”.’ In fact, many of these would qualify as favourites, too.

KENNEL… Do you have any pets?
No. Grew up with dogs, both called Sam, and named my youngest son after them. But I don’t think it’s fair to have pets in a flat.

LOVE…Are you single, married, engaged, living with a long term partner?
Married. Second time. And her second time too. There won’t be a third. We’re both too idle to leave each other.

MEAL… Whats your ultimate starter, main and dessert?
Pan-fried scallops with black pudding, followed by wagyu sirloin steak, thrice-cooked chips and mushroom-Stilton sauce. Ending with The Best of British and French Cheeses.

NOW…If you could be anywhere right now where would you be and who with?
Where I am, writing this. My local pub. No company required.

OFF DUTY…What do you do in your spare time?
Cook. And sit in the pub with my laptop, doing stuff like this.

PROUD MOMENTS …What are you most proud of?
Bringing up children who are polite, disciplined, caring, sensitive and funny.

QUEASY …What turns your stomach?
Bankers’ bonuses; Oligarchs; reality TV; ‘Metropolitan Elite’ politicians who are parachuted into constituencies they know nothing about; pop stars pontificating about Third World poverty without putting their hands in their pockets. I could go on…

RELAX…How do you relax?
On our roof terrace with a bottle of Chenin Blanc or Sauvignon Blanc with my missus after she’s come home from a hard day at the office.

SONG…Whats your favourite song of all time?
Depending on my mood: Comfortably Numb – Pink Floyd; Telegraph Road – Dire Straits; Nothing Else Matters – Metallica; This Is The One – Stone Roses; Here Comes The Fear – Doves

TIME …If you could go back in time and relive it again, when would you choose?
To the day I met my wife. Never experienced a feeling like it.

UNKNOWN…Tell us something about yourself that no one else knows?
I have a job.

VOCAL…. Who is your favourite artist?
Robert Plant, in his Led Zeppelin heyday.

WORK….. What is your dream job, and are you doing it now?
Best-selling novelist.

XRAY…Any broken bones?
I broke my right ankle chasing my wife one day…down three steps.

YIKES…What’s been your most embarrassing moment?
During a football tour to Moscow, I got so drunk I passed out in Red Square. My sympathetic team-mates stripped me naked from the waist down and took photos of my ungloriousness – then posted the photos all around the building at the office where I worked.

ZOO…. If you were an animal, which one would you be?
A caged tiger.

So who’s next to be tagged? Come on, now, don’t be shy…

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One Response to Alphabet Challenge: The A-Z of Me

  1. Apart from Dire Straits it all sounds pretty good.. from Robert Plant to the Scallops and Black Pudding, Kevin Bridges, Sauvignon Blanc, Pink Floyd and that twat Bono… Glad to know that i am not the only one that can’t stand him!

    So a job, Congrats….